Letting go...
The Fray
"How To Save A Life"
Step one you say, "We need to talk."
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it?s just a talk."
He smiles politely back at you,
You stare politely right on through,
Some sort of window to your right.
As he goes left and you stay right,
Between the lines of fear and blame,
You begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
Let him know that you know best,
'Cause after all you do know best.
Try to slip past his defense,
Without granting innocence.
Lay down a list of what is wrong.
The things you?ve told him all along.
Pray to god he hears you.
And I pray to god he hears you and,
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
As he begins to raise his voice,
You lower yours and grant him one last choice.
"Drive until you lose the road,
Or break with the ones you?ve followed."
He will do one of two things.
He will admit to everything,
Or he?ll say he?s just not the same,
And you?ll begin to wonder why you came.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
How to save a life.
How to save a life.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend,
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night,
Had I known how to save a life.
How to save a life.
How to save a life.
******
No idea why, but the song strikes a cord.
You know how hard it is to let go of hope? A dream that's as real as a person, and never quite stays dead; it is a part of you, a part of your life and your being. But the reality is it will never- as long as things are as they are- be real.
Sometimes when you get older, past the reality of childhood- and childhood, imho, is it's own form of reality- you realize that those things you dream of are a bit like rainbows. You never can catch a rainbow, and even the uplifting sight of them is fleeting.
*****
Fall Out Boy
"Golden"
How cruel is the golden rule,
When the lives we lived are only golden plated.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,
Though I carried carats for everyone to see.
And I saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies.
And all the lovers with no time for me.
And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me.
Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams,
Where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens.
And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me,
(Too heavy for me.)
Though I carried carats for everyone to see.
(Everyone to see.)
And I saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies.
And all the lovers with no time for me.
And all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me,
And pray they don?t grow up to be...
***
It seems like I watch people with my dream... and most of the time it's ok. But now it's becoming a hurtful thing. It happens at various times, this hurting from seeing. I don't know why now is different, but it is. I dream so much, but the truth is that dreaming alone can't make a reality, and right now, neither can I.
____
It could just be me. Maybe I'm going depressive. I don't know. Even little things hurt... I'm starting to think I've driven everyone away, except maybe one or two people. And really, I don't blame them. I make excuses, I listen to advice and ignore it. Maybe he's right, and I do have to be the center of attention, always in the limelight. Maybe he's wrong- maybe it's a bit of both. Hell if I know.
All I know is I'm so tired of this. All of this.... and it won't change.
Maybe I need medication again. And maybe in the morning, it'll all be better.
_____
Big & RIch
"Holy Water"
Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I used to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine
Wherever she would go
But lookin' at her now, you'll never tell
Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
And I can only imagine what she's feelin' when she's prayin'
Kneelin' at the edge of her bed
[chorus]
And she says, take me away
Then take me farther
Surround me now
And hold, hold, hold me
Like Holy Water
Holy Water
She wants someone to call her angel
Someone to put the light back in her eyes
She's lookin' through the faces and unfamiliar places
She needs someone to hear her when she cries
[chorus]
Like Holy Water
She just needs a little help
To wash away the pain she's felt
She wants to feel the healin' hands of someone who understands
[chorus 2x]
Like holy water
Like holy water
Like holy water
Like holy water
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
& no one knows.
{Wild Horses}
It's just her and the band and the clean up man
She's countin' up her tips, she did alright
She says goodnight
She drives home to a three room flat
Checks her machine and she feeds the cat
She's almost asleep
Before she turns out the light
In her dreams, she rides wild horses
And they carry her away on the wind
And they never make a sound
As they fly above the ground
Tonight she rides wild horses again
She's fallen in love a time or two
Somehow it always fell through - but she's strong
She carries on
Her life ain't always gonna be this way
She knows she's gonna shine someday
But for now
She'll escape until the dawn
In her dreams, she rides wild horses
And they carry her away on the wind
And they never make a sound
As they fly above the ground
Tonight she rides wild horses again
In her dreams, she rides wild horses
And they carry her away on the wind
And they never make a sound
As they fly above the ground
Tonight she rides wild horses again
In her dreams, she rides wild horses
And they carry her away on the wind
And they never make a sound
As they fly above the ground
Tonight she rides wild horses again
In her dreams, she rides wild horses
Current Mood: 
drainedCurrent Music: Smokie - She Rides Wild Horses 
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